You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
