I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I just sharted jello shots
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said âEat Freshâ while his GF was with him. FML
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