i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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