next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize