i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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