This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
