mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
