the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize