Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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