these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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