My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
