Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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