Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
