kristin has been a bad kristin
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My vagina is very pro this idea
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
