If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The beer is more important than you right now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
