my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
