$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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