I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
