i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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