i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
His hands were made for my vagina.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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