3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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