Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
