when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
