She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
