Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
