i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There are leaves in my underwear?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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