i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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