help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
