I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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