Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
