If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize