The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
