i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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