Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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