How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
