I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
