im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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