are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
please come you make the beer taste better
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
