Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
