Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
