my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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