She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
