sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
