Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
