I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
