Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
