Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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