btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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