That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize