i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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