Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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