I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
