ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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