You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
