Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
