one might say we're banned from that church
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
