no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We left the knife in your bed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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