She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize