This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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