if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
